(Insert another apology for the neglect of writing here) Moving on…


I’m a killer. Yup, you read it right. Not the I did this intentionally, to hurt you kind of killer but a killer nonetheless. Elaborate you ask?

I’ve been in the LOU for a year and a half now and I just felt it’s time for a change..I went through the initial freakout phase of moving to the Midwest #i’mstillandeastcoastgirl, without having friends, knowing my way around and all that comes with exploring uncharted land #shoutouttoNeilArmstrong. The reality is though, I’m settled now and something was just missing.I realized that I wanted to be more a more “legitimate” 20 something adult. In my mind this means taking care of some kind of living being so I ran through a series of the following thoughts:

I’m getting a dog! Yes! A cuddly little beast that I can take on walks through this pet friendly city! In turn, I will meet other pet lovers and it will be glorious! I will make new pet friends and I’m going to become freakishly fit because my new dog and I are going to go on runs around the arch! Wait, wait, how much does a dog cost? I’m not a bajillionare (yup..bajillionare) I have to buy dog food and take it to the doctor. This would probably interrupt critical social activities like happy hour and yoga. I would also have to clean poop…EEEEEEEEEEEEWW..I’m not afraid to get my hands a little dirty but the inner DIVA will draw the line at poop. I also need beauty sleep and waking up at ungodly hours to take this beast out for a potty break/walk will simply interrupt the DIVA and as a result others will likely fall into the wrath that unleashes after #icareboutyoutoomuchtoletithappen.

Perhaps I will get pregnant? Ya right..totally a joke. Me…preggers…also ewww. Primarily due to my fear of a parasite feeding off of me. I am sure I will feel different when that chapter in my life unfolds but in my 20 something mind..EW YUCK NO WAYYY HOSAAYYY!
Conclusion…PLANTS..YES I can do plants! plant..water it..give it sun..bam..helllooo legitimacy. I am taking care of a living being..yes I can do this! I can! I can! I can!…CAN I?!? I’ve never had a plant that I had to take CARE of.. Minutes later…

I dash out the door, turn on Barcelona and  to head to the nearest Home Depot to get my beloved little beings that I am going to take care of and love and it’s going to be great! My heart is jumping for joy and I drive on 44W. I can’t wait to tell my mom about it…SHIMMY will be so proud. She has SOOO many plants and all hers grow beautifully! As I walk to the flower department I’ve decided that I’m going to grow Orchids. I just love them! Almost as much as I love all things pumpkin..but that is for a later date. I’m greeted by Carol..who by my standards is the GODDESS PLANTS..she loves them as much as I love Pumpkins and I REALLY REALLY love pumpkins. I tell Carol my elaborate story of how I wish to be legitimate yada yada yada and she begins to grace me with her PLANT KNOWLEDGE..Orchids are easy to take care of she says, all you have to do is water them once a week and give them sun and it will be just fine. Brilliant.. I can do once a week! I immediately tell Carol I will take five Orchid plants and all the fixin’s that come with it! I want to make sure these babies are well taken care of… 50 dollars later I’m out of there with my new found hobby.

The first week with my new babes goes by and I’m very careful and attentive. I give them their Orchid food, water with precisely one cup of water, assure that the sun is glistening down on them..all is good in my little solarium.

Fast forward 4 weeks..I’ve kept up with the same routine since week one…only solarium is a graveyard. Yup..All Orchids..DEAD…RIP babes. I don’t know what I did wrong..but I sure feel like a failure..KILLER! Google even told me there was no hope once your stems lost their youthful figure and looked like the equivalent of an aging wrinkly grandma. Eff. How could you fail me CAROL? I thought you were suppose to CARE! I listened to you! I just wanted to take care of something..clearly I failed KILLED..How am I suppose to be a mom someday if I can’t even take care of a plant? Good thing I didn’t get the dog..God knows what his/her fate might have been. It’s going to take a little while to recover from this one I think to myself. I decided to take a break before I try again.


Surprise! After telling SHIMMY about my plant enthusiasm she was over joyed. The parental units came to visit after the death of the solarium and sure enough SHIMMY brought me another plant..this time BONSAI..I can do this right? Is it too soon? No I won’t give up, so I go to my trusty man GOOGLE and he provides me with all the BONSAI knowledge I need. This time is going to be different..

BONSAI and I are getting along well..sort of. I’ve been providing him with plenty of sunlight and minimal water and well..he’s half alive and half dead. Some of his leaves are falling off and have gone in the direction of the aging grandma…while others are still hanging somewhat strong and recently I saw there was a NEW leaf growing…perhaps there is hope? I am still very nervous about this..I am after all the PLANT KILLER. I still look at the plant graveyard that I have avoided doing anything with as it is a reminder of my first attack. It’s one’s mad. As a result, I am going to plant an herb garden in the solarium. NEW BEGINNINGS! This time I’ve recruited my good friend and gardener ERIN…she is going to teach me her ways. The journey begins tomorrow..we are going to go buy seeds. Perhaps rehab with Erin will help..I don’t want to have the title of a plant KILLER anymore..


Spring to the Lou….

It’s almost been a year since I’ve begun my love affair with Louis and right now I would say the stock price is high. Our relationship is blooming if you will. Today, I was treated to a warm sensual breeze and the sun shining on my face. It was officially a porch sitting day. The girls and I went to have drinks in Soulard..(naturally negotiations had to be made with Louis..). Signs of porch sitting season were everywhere. Dog lovers enjoying a cold Schlafly as their companion relaxes by their side, aviator glasses back in full spring, and the hipsters in the loop wearing their latest “vintage attire”.

Louis treated me so well today that I was willing to venture to the loop for one of my favorite Spring time activities…BUBBLE TEA season! For those of you looking to try something new, go to the loop and get it. Louis named it after himself, as he seems to take on many personalities..he doesn’t have a Napoleon complex or anything..Anyways, here is the #goodbadugly

In other news, St.Patty’s Day is upon us! As you can imagine, Louis has several plans lined up. Dogtown will be in full swing, as that’s where our Irish-American community resides.  The American Order of Hiberians have been holding this parade in Dogtown for over 30 years. Many of the residents participate in the parade carrying their family crests. The other St.Patty’s day parade occurs downtown, starting at Market and 18th streets.

Yours truly will be participating in the 5mile St.Patty’s day run. Why would I run 5miles on St.Patty’s day you ask? Free beer at the end, a the parade to follow, and everybody is Irish that day so  bring on the comradery!

Image Courtesy of Google Images









Until next time,


Because I love you..

I get it, it’s been a long time, yet again. I know I’ve made promises before to write more frequently but I keep breaking those, so I can just promise to try more #dealwithit.

It’s International Women’s Day, or as the Serbs call it “osmi mart”. For those of you that are unfarmiliar , the holiday originated out of the Socialist Political Movement. Originally, it was called, “International Working Women’s Day”  and celebrates the political, social and economic achievements of women. Sadly, in some regions of the world it has lost its political flavour and been downgraded to “valentines day”#thanksalothallmark..

The inspiration behind this post is semi-stemmed from rage from the a$$ comments made by men on the good ol Facebook feed. They range from, “make me cakes and cookies to celebrate women’s day to good job you are a girl” #notetoselfdeleterandomfbfriends. Why are men so afraid of our accomplishments? What if I like to have a career, raise kids and get my Martha Stuart on? You should be happy I’m capable of such things. Instead, you are intimiated and prefer to downgrade me to your effing servant.  Perhaps before you engage in such chauvanistic comments you should read GirlSpy, better yet hug your mom for bringing you to this world.  Are you mad because a woman broke your heart? Guess what I love better, make your mother proud for enduring 9 months of you growing inside her #nottomentionthepermanentdamageyouhavecausedheryouthfulbody.

Anyways, sorry for the rage..except I’m not sorry..thanks C… I needed that. Thanks for reading.

On more serious matters, this post is dedicated to the lovely ladies of Dinner Club. While, my love affair with Louis has been great, meeting these ladies has made it all the more delightful. I frolicked around in purple tutus with them #thankyouSTLmardigras, cried when I brokeup with “Archie”#isodesperatlywishyouwerestillmyfriendbutigetit, and experienced Margrets boom boom pow class @ Dollhouse Studios (which is a killer workout btw), next on the list…St.Patty’s Day 5mile run #bringiton. The point is that my love affair with Louis was and has been amazing, but it was lacking the “in love part” until I met these ladies. In conclusion, thank you, I love you all.



So the hiatus ends..

Perhaps you’ve been wondering where my commitment to my blog has gone? It seems as if I have become the ungrateful boyfriend that emotionally abuses its readers or reader…depending on who has stayed true to me. I hope that I will be able to lure your attention with my commitment again. Perhaps it will be promises …promises again but I promise to be better…

In case you’ve been “worried”, I’m doing well. St.Louis has brought many new adventures, and friends. Everything seems so raw. The excitement of discovering the city is slowly starting to go away. Not in a negative way, I am just starting to feel more like a native rather than a tourist. A few months ago, I was walking around asking where is this and that and now I barely rely on the GPS (although I still get lost from time to time). People are asking me for directions instead. It’s amazing how quickly one’s body and mind adapts when it is put in a brand new environment. Enough about me, let me tell you about my latest love affair with ….

So what is she  like you ask? Well, she’s nothing like New York. Her pace is slow, layed back, mysterious, yet sultry and sexy. The beauty about her is that she understands what it’s like to be rough around the edges on her east side, yet has so much class to her west. Regardless, if she didn’t understand both spectrum’s of the social filters she wouldn’t  appreciate the diverse cultures that live within her. She’s comprised of several communities, the Italians living on the Hill, the Bosnians in South County, the hipsters in the Loop, and the savvy Central West Enders. She’s got a lot to offer to all those that stand to give her a chance. However, she does not stick out to like her so called friends, Chicago, LA, and Miami. Flashy is not her style. If you had to describe her type, I would say she’s a mix between a Scorpio and a Libra. Mysterious yet charming.

She’s generous in the sense that several of her best assets are free, such as the zoo, museums,and  concerts that are available to the public regularly. She’s also an animal lover. At every outdoor patio and care, you will find dog bowls for our canine friends. I would say this is her sweet side, but with good comes a bit of evil…or at least bad girl status..

You see Louis loooves to gamble. So much so that well, she is the home of 5 major casinos. The buffets are amazing. All you can eat crab legs, be prepared to wear your fat suit that day. She took me on a date to the casino and well..let’s just say we were too tired for dessert. When she is feeling extra wild she likes to stroll around on Washington Ave, to grab a nice glass of wine at Copia or if she wants to dance stops in at Nara or Lucas Grill. However, on the beautiful and sunny 70 degree days, Louis loves Rosalitas. Great specials, great staff (and by that I mean some hunky Spanish men) and best of all outdoor seating with Spanish music playing in the background. You should try to have an affair with Louis too, she hasn’t failed me yet. Or at LEAST…give her a chance…

International Women’s Day

It’s International Women’s Day (IWD), or in Serbian osmi mart! This is a holiday that I have observed ever since I was very young. Predominantly since my father got flowers for his three favorite women (Shimmy, Nana, and I) each year.

The holiday is observed as a major celebration of women’s accomplishments throughout history. IWD began as early as the 1900’s and continues to grow each year. For more information check out:

The website provides an excellent history of the holiday as well as several celebrations around the world.

That being said– I am going to take the next week to thank the inspirational women in my life.

My mother is one of a kind. I am truly convinced that she is superwoman. You see, as immigrants from Serbia, we left with two suitcases on us and a whole lot of HOPE.

Happy International Women's Day

Upon our arrival to the the new land we had nothing. We didn’t speak the language, understand the culture or have any family and friends on this foreign territory. My father had to return to school while my mother worke

d the night shift at a Greek restaurant.

She refused to lose time with her daughters. Although she worked the difficult night shift she

always made sure that she spent quality time with her daughters. My mother is an amazing wife, mom and overall person. She has a kind heart and has taught me to see the best in people. She has taught me to cook, clean, stand up for myself and has never failed to support me in any of the endeavors tha

t I have strived for in life.

Throughout her life my mother has had to endure a lot of trials and triumphs. She had to stay strong while my family experienced the heinous side effects of war. She refused to give up when times got hard. But most of all, she instilled the importance of hardwork, compassion and family into my everyday life. I am forever grateful to her. Mom, thank you for being my best friend and PARENT even when I was the most difficult.

Love you always….

Those of you that are reading this, please share your stories of an inspirational woman in your life. I would would love to read about it. Stay tuned to read about the rest of the inspirational women in my life.

Be Bold and Own It..

I’m starting to realize that I am becoming an “adult” faster than I had anticipated. Last night I promised a friend that I would stop out to buy him a drink for his birthday. His birthday celebration was in full swing by the time I had arrived. Hummer limo, drinks flowing, girls in short “skirts” ( if they can even qualify for skirts), and the latest Ke$ha song “blow” playing. For those that are intoxicated, I suppose this is the prefect environment for a “good time”.

To be quite frank with you , I had no desire to go, but I made a promise and I like to keep to my word. Plus, it was his birthday and I felt obligated to at least stop by and say, “happy birthday.”

When I walked into the bar, I automatically felt “out of place”. Perhaps because I felt overdressed, and by overdressed I mean that all my body parts that should have been covered were. I noticed that I was being looked at by my not so clothed sisters as if I should show a little skin to blend in (sisters= girls in the bar that I have never met). Keep in mind I was wearing all black.

As I was observing my less clothed sisters I started to notice the insecurities. Three girls struck me in particular. These girls were, tan, young, skinny, and absolutely stunning in their own unique ways.  The awkwardness that I felt initially simply diminished because I realized that I knew their secret. They likely felt that they weren’t OK. The American image that imposes self-consciousness amongst women had likely set in to their psyches.

The tall girl probably felt too “tall”. The shorter one kept touching her boobs, perhaps she felt they were too small or simply wanted to draw attention to them.The last one was practically naked, perhaps she felt that in order to feel sexy she had to show a lot of skin. These girls were pouring themselves over a bunch of schmucks that will only see them for these physical characteristics.

As I witnessed this, I felt a sigh of relief. I also felt a sense of compassion. Internally, I wanted to go up to them and tell them the good news- that in a couple years time (as you get older) you are just not going to be afraid to let your true colors show. The next time you think your ass is too big…STOP! Instead, embrace it, if you are feeling feisty, slap it 😉

Thank you Dove for embracing the REAL woman..

At one point in my twenties (and throughout life for that matter) I felt simi

lar insecurities as these girls likely felt/feel. However, after a certain point you simply give up on trying to be thinner, younger, sexier and accept the beauty that is you. Ladies your body is like a Bentley, stop trying to put bumper stickers on it! Show it off for its natural beauty, be proud, be bold.

Ladies and gentlemen (because yes you feel insecurities too) I challenge you to put  your favorite dress on, maybe some red lipstick, or whatever it is that makes you feel proud of all that you have and have a drink, at a place that isn’t about to “blow” as Ke$ha would say.

Oh Pablo..

Recently, I have been making a conscious effort to read and engulf myself in literature that I wouldn’t normally select. I feel that I need to become a bit more culturally aware of poetry, arts, history etc. As I progress through my 20 something age bracket, I need be engaged and active with my thirst for knowledge. During my college years, it was easy. I attended class and learned something new daily. Now that the college gig is up, well, I’m responsible for my own education and Pablo has become my guilty pleasure…

If You Forget Me

I want you to knowYou dashing man you...
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

As a hopeless romantic and a Libra, one can see how Pablo’s words can swoon a 20 something year old like me….Oh Pablo..


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